


Triassic Park

by kinky_dominasterisk



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Jurassic Park Fusion, Geographical Isolation, Isolation, M/M, Paleontologist Ford
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-01 01:41:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6495784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinky_dominasterisk/pseuds/kinky_dominasterisk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ford Pines let this happen. He let his buttons get pushed and that's why he stormed off into the desert with no gps, no phone, and no canteen of life saving water and /that's/ how he died in the desert. Holy shit, he was going to die in the desert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ford Pines let this happen. He let his buttons get pushed and that's why he stormed off into the desert with no gps, no phone, and no canteen of life saving water and _that's_ how he died in the desert. Holy shit, he was going to die in the desert.

If his mouth weren't so dry from breathing hot air, he would have laughed. This is exactly how his phone psychic mother said he would die. Well, actually, she said he would die in a dessert. This was close enough. 

It was such a stupid fight too. He and his partner were arguing about whether to sell the dinosaur bones they had found or sell them. Jack Free was a stubborn man whose only concern for anything was whether he could benefit from it. He was definitely not someone Ford would pick as first choice for a paleontology dig, but he was the only one willing to go to the location Ford had wanted. Ford typically preferred to work alone, but he had concerns about going out into the desert alone. Far lot of good having a partner did him; now he was lost in the desert on death's door step because of that partner. 

The fight had happened at night so that was probably what really killed Ford. If it had happened during the day, he probably would not have left the dig site. Instead, he had flipped off Jack Free, grabbed his mp3 player, and walked off into the night desert. The stars had been beautiful in the sky without any light pollution that a city would provide. Ford had put on a Hans Zimmerman score to blast at full volume into his ears and climbed the nearest sand dune. He hadn't thought he had gone too far; he could still see the campsite lights from where he was. On top of the dune, he had sat on the stand and stargazed. It had been so nice to just listen to an orchestral score and identify constellations. He didn't remember falling asleep, but who does really? 

When he woke up, the sun was nearly at its peak in the sky and Ford was surrounded completely by sand. No matter which way he turned, he could not see the dig. Then he realized he's messed up his orientation and now had no idea which direction to walk in back to the dig site. The wind has erased his steps during the night. He positioned himself to what he had hoped was his original orientation and walked forward. 

Now he knew that was the wrong direction because he still could not find the campsite. He was beginning to become delirious from the heat and dehydration. The heat waves coming off the sand looked like ripples on water. Great, the mirages were coming in. Ford swore he could actually see water, but no plants grew around it. He walked right through the fake oasis. 

He didn't have a timepiece to tell him how long he had been walking, but he thought it had maybe been two hours. He barely had a shadow, so he assumed it was about noon. The human body could survive without water for about three days, but Ford feared the heat of the desert would cut his time short. He felt heavy under the sun. He slowed his pace and wondered if he should keep going at all if he was going to die anyways. Ford sat down in the sand and thought about his situation. 

Ford thought the desert was actually a very nice place to be if it weren't for the fact he didn't have water, a way of communications, or even sunscreen. He could feel his skin burning. He poked himself in the arm and recoiled. If he ever made it back to the dig site, he was going to be in a lot of pain. The dig site. Ford got back up and started walking again. He wasn't at his end yet, so there was no reason for him to give up. 

Another mirage appeared before him. Ford laughed internally at his delusions. He was looking at a house, no, a mansion really. Maybe his desire for shelter was affecting his mind. But this mansion had a pool. It didn't look like a chlorine pool by the color of it, but more like a pond. It also had plants growing around it. Did someone find an oasis and just build a house by it? The area was a terrible location. There wasn't a town in a forty mile radius. Ford shook his head. This was just another mirage. He just had to walk through it and it would disappear. 

It didn't disappear. It just got bigger and more detailed. Ford arrived at the edge of the pool. The water looked very tempting, but it also could just be hot sand. If he put that in his mouth, he'd really screw his dehydrated self over. Ford tentatively put his hand in the water. It definitely felt like water, but sand often imitated fluid physics. It felt cool like water, but that may have been another heat delusion. Ford tried to hold the water to test if it would behave like sand or water when it was cupped. 

"Are you going to drink my water or just feel it up?" A voice called out. 

Ford looked up from the pool. On the other side was a porch, and in the shade stood a figure. Ford squinted. Another mirage? Did mirages talk? He got up and walked around the pool to the porch. The figure became a man as Ford got closer. 

"It's about time you showed up," the man smiled. 

"You... aren't a mirage?" Ford panted. 

"If I was, it wouldn't matter if I said yes or no, would it?" The man handed Ford a drink. "You must be thirsty."

Ford immediately gulped it down without asking what it was. It was a mint mojito. Ford coughed and spluttered as the alcohol burned his throat. 

"Can't hold your liquor, I see," the man laughed. "Come inside, and we'll see if we can find you some water."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was entirely possible that none of this was real. He could still be out in the desert dying or already dead. And apparently the afterlife consisted of a singular person of ambiguous gender who collected dinosaurs as pets.

When the desert man gave him a bottle of cold water, Ford had to use restraint from chugging it all at once. He knew that if he drank too much at once his body would go into thermal shock, but damn if that wasn't the most refreshing bottle of water he'd had in his life.

"Sir, I have to ask-" Ford had just finished his second bottle.

"Oh, please," the man tittered. "Do I look man enough for a sir to you?"

Ford paused. Well, the make up and earrings and dress-robe thing probably meant this person was female identified.

"Ma'am?" Ford said tentatively.

"Mmmm, no, I don't think that suits me either."

"Oh." Well, now Ford was confused. "What should I call you then?"

"Hmmm," the person tapped their lips. "Call me a friend. Name's Bill Cipher."

"Ok. Why do you live out here in the middle of the desert? It's forty miles away from the nearest town."

"Don't have to pay property tax out here," Bill told Ford. "It's a really big place, Stanford. That's a lot of tax. Plus I need space for my theme park."

Ford wasn't sure he had ever told Bill his name but- "Theme park?"

"My pride and joy. Let me show it to you."

Ford followed Bill, curious about what kind of theme park a person could keep on their property. Was it like a roller coaster park? Or something with smaller rides like spinning chairs or pirate rides? Ford doubted it could be a water park. Despite how pleasant it would be to have one in the desert, the water needed would be astronomical and impossible to keep in a desert.

The park Bill had in his home didn't have roller coasters or water slides or anything like that. It had dinosaurs.

"I call it," Bill gestured to the flora and fauna that were, impossibly, right in front of Ford's eyes. "Triassic Park."

" _Triassic_ Park?" Ford rubbed his eyes and blinked to make sure he was seeing things correctly.

"Well, the name 'Jurassic Park' was already taken."

Ford thought about what he was seeing. It was entirely possible that none of this was real. He could still be out in the desert dying or already dead. And apparently the afterlife consisted of a singular person of ambiguous gender who collected dinosaurs as pets. Ford tentatively stepped millions of years back in time.

"How did you...?"

"The same way the Jurassic Park people did," Bill trailed after Ford now. "Splicing genes, cloning little baby dinos, the works. Unfortunately, our head geneticist had to be let go after he was caught trying to smuggle eggs off the compound. Lucky for us we caught him before the disaster those other guys had to deal with."

Ford thought up a bunch of different reasons things at Jurassic Park went completely pear shaped, but it'd be pointless to argue if it was the afterlife anyways. "If this park is true to the Triassic era, then wouldn't I find more archosaurs than dinosaurs?"

"Oooh, look at you, Mr. Paleontologist," Bill swooned. "I think you're exactly what our research team needs."

Ford blushed. "Well, I'm flattered you think so, but I was just speculating. Besides, I think if you're developing this park for the public, people would definitely be more interested in dinosaurs. There were still dinosaurs in the late Triassic period, so you can use those if you-"

"See, you say you're just 'speculating' but all I hear is 'listen to me, I'm a genius, I know exactly what would make this park the greatest thing in the world' and I think you're right," Bill grinned. "When can you start?"

Ford chuckled softly. Well, he wasn't itching to go back to that hot dig with a disagreeable partner waiting for him. Actually, Jack Free had probably took Ford's disappearance as an opportunity to sell the bones.

"Well, I supposed I can start now," Ford chuckled. "Well, maybe after a shower and a change of clothes."

"Perfect!" Bill pulled Ford into a tight hug and gave Ford a big kiss on the cheek. "So glad to have you on board!"


End file.
